Drowning on Fire
by Luminescence100
Summary: Bella's life is normal and simple, well that was until she sparked the interest of the new kid. Edward. Soon she finds her world turning upside down for the worse. She begins to lose her friends, the respect from her family, and even her sanity. What will he do once he finally breaks her? Will she fight back or give in? BellaxDarkward BellaxJacob OOC
1. Chapter 1

Drowning on Fire

Chapter one: New Faces

 **Disclaimer: I don't any Twilight, just the plot. Stephanie owns all of the characters. And I do not profit from making stories.**

 **Italics are her thoughts, regular print are just actions and conversations. Please go easy on me; this is my first fanfic that I've actually had the guts to publish online. Reviews will be welcomed! Please no ghost readers. I'll update weekly or every few days, and you'll get at least 3 or 4 chapters from this one post. Anyway, sorry for the hella long authors' note, enjoy the story!**

 **Bella's POV**

He is here.

I'm gone in my mind again. Words are being spoken, yet they're falling on deaf ears.

 _I'm numb again. What's happening to me? This boys' presence is affecting me? He's a monster with this weird look that he's giving me? Even my mind is telling me to run away from him, but I feel like I can't._

 _Ugh, why am I so weak? I am pulling at my hair to ease the pain of the headache I had just acquired thanks to this new kid again._

 _This stare down shit is getting annoying. We've been at this for weeks, well one and a half weeks if we're being honest._

"Maybe you should talk to him", Angela said, pushing her glasses up again.

I stared at her in shock for a moment before gathering my courage and nodding. She took my bag from me and held it to her as she watched me walk over to monsters' table.

He was reading now. I hadn't even realized he'd been reading today.

For some reason the walk to his table seemed to be further and further away from reach.

"So you finally decided to speak to me again, kitten?" the kid smirked, closing his book and putting it away before I could get the chance to read the title.

"Well, I got tired of doing the whole cat and mouse shit and wanted to take action on why you're being a damn creeper." I hissed out, crossing my arms across my chest.

He chuckled, smirking.

"Well, you don't always play with fire do you?" he said.

I raised an eyebrow at him in curiosity. What could he have meant by that?

"You're quite the unpredictable one aren't you? I was half expecting you to keep chatting about me to your dear friend there." He asked, chuckling again.

The noise was strangely comforting. His face, not the best, yet not the worst, it was boyishly adorable in a manner of sense. I sighed internally, managing a small smile to form on my lips.

 _Seeing the smile of others just somehow made me happy for some reason. So I did my best to make others smile, even at times when it was at the expense of my own happiness. I was too giving, too heartfelt at humans that I couldn't deny them._

 _Was this weakness? There's no way to tell now. Right now, I'm overthinking things, and I know I am._

"So, are you going to apologize or what?" I ask, taking one of his paper napkins and begin folding it into a crane. Or a sad attempt of a crane, I was never really good at origami though.

"Have I ever been known to give you what you want?" he asked.

"You're such a smart ass, Mr. Mason. Just say it and I'll leave." I told him, grimacing.

He gave a sort of crooked smile that sent chills down my spine just looking at the damned thing. His expression darkened slightly.

"As if I care about principles, Bells, inhibitions aren't my game. But I could find room for you to be again, if you're willing to keep it a secret?" He said, smirking.

 _This arrogant asshole, I am not his slave anymore. I've had enough of this. He can't just expect me to just bend over backwards and satisfy his lust towards me? How disgusting._

"Gross." I told him, standing up to leave his table.

His hand shot up, grabbed my wrist and pulled me back to sit beside him. His lips were on my ear, breathing.

 _Ugh, he was too close for any stranger to be. I could barely breathe. His scent was everywhere. Damn this kid._

"It's not wise to defy me, kitten. You'll learn that soon enough. My new number is on your hand and you better call tonight at 7. Now, go to class." He whispered, releasing his hold on my wrist.

I grabbed my things and practically ran to my next class, pausing only to catch my breath up on the stairs.

I made it to class with 4 minutes to spare. Lucky girl, especially with the way the hallway was packed today. I sat at my table, moving my stuff into the chair beside me, until I saw that someone's bag was already there.

 _Maybe Angela came here earlier than me and was able to find the table and set her things here? I hope so. I didn't like the idea of having a stranger sit next to me, even though I knew the entire class and had had the class for half of a year._

Then I saw creeper kid, Mason, walk into class. His eyes were scanning the class, searching for an empty table. Unfortunately Angela was nowhere to be found.

 _Where was this girl? I was biting my nails nervously as he came closer and closer to my table. His shit-eating grin was glued to his damn face again as if he had won the biggest game at a hunting game._

"Hello, Kitten." He said, moving the bag that was in Angela's chair.

"You can't sit there. Someone's already sitting there." I said, smirking.

"I know, I am, since this is my bag" he replied, killing my good mood already.

I moved my chair as far as I could, away from him. However, seeing as how the table is only for two people, that kind of made that idea moot anyway.

I groaned, putting my head on the desk and sighed. Hopefully, Mr. Wilson would be here today and give us some individual assignment to keep us busy for the whole period.

"Hello Students, my name is Mrs. Kirkpatrick and I will be filling in for your teacher, Mr. Wilson for the rest of this semester." The overly cheerful woman announced.

 _This couldn't be happening. This just couldn't be, unless I had karma or some other stuff coming to curse me for past evil I had done._

 _Okay, this may be possible now. I'll just accept my fate, just as long as it doesn't involve him more than it needs to. Then, I'll just move to a different school._

"It also seems that he didn't leave any work for you today. So, I'll allow you to work on other work you may have in your other classes or listen to music on your phones if you're quiet." She said, smiling brightly.

 _Damn Mr. Wilson, this man was now a sadist in my eyes. But at least I'd be able to tune this guy out with my music, and that's exactly what I did._

It worked until I felt a hand on my thigh. My eyes were probably the size of saucers at this point.

I moved his hand off of my thigh, scooting further away. The leg of my chair was touching the leg of the table now.

His hand came on my thigh again after a few seconds, gripping it tighter when I tried to pry it off my thigh. I gave up after the squeezing became too intense and just let it go, ignoring it as much as I could.

His hand crept higher up my thigh, touching my hip now.

 _What the actual fuck is this guy's problem?_

" _Bruises and Bite marks" was the song now playing on my phone, and it couldn't have chosen a better moment to do so._

 _Please tell me that he wasn't going to do this here. I wasn't much of a virgin to be honest, so I knew what to expect when hands started to wander around like airline security._

 _That was a wonderfully painful night, but I enjoyed the pain nonetheless. Maybe I was weird for that? I don't think so._

His hand was hovering over my crotch, delving in between my thighs.

 _Shit. I have to deal with this for 70 more minutes? I pulled out my travel tweezers and jabbed him in the hand with them._

He hissed in pain, pulling his hand away and glared daggers at me. I smiled back happily, asking the teacher if I could go to the office to check myself out, to which she said yes.

I bolted out of the classroom so fast, I'm pretty sure I was blurred on the school cameras. I nearly tripped trying to get down stairs to the second floor attendance office.

After I signed myself out, I walked down the two flights of stairs that were next to the cafeteria and walked to the junior parking lot. My car was small and simple. Much the same way I loved life.

The 2005 white Ford was cold, probably from the near artic morning we had down here. The weather was so much more different down south, but somehow I managed. As I reached into my pocket to fish out my keys, I noticed that there was writing scribbled on my hand.

The longer I stared at it, the more I could understand it. It was 'his' number. I'd have probably chopped my hand off and set it on fire if it wasn't my primary hand that I did almost everything with.

"Looking for something, Kitten?" that fucking voice again?

I groaned; face palming my forehead, raking my fingers through my blue and black back length hair.

"What do you want now?" I ask out of irritation.

"To make sure you follow orders. Plain and simple, I'd hate to have to hurt my newest, game piece." He said, grinning devilishly at me.

 _What's with him? Does he plan on beating me in order to follow his orders all over again? If so, I might be the one to have to teach someone a lesson finally._

"You have my keys don't you?" I said, pinching the bridge of my nose and closing my eyes in frustration.

"Why of course I do, Kitten. You seemed like you needed a man's help with driving and I'm more than happy to help a woman in distress." He said, flashing those strangely sharp teeth at me.

"I really don't need or want someone like you to help me. Now, can you please give me my keys back, I actually have to be somewhere." I said, anxiously looking around for any patrolling security guards.

 _There was no one around. Perfect fucking timing, any other day, there would have been about 3 asking me if I should be in class._

I turned to face the creeper. I didn't even hear him and he was already face to face with me.

I looked up to see his face. Emerald eyes looked back into brown eyes. His eyes for a split second showed the adoration he once felt for me.

My heart was racing against my chest. Why did I feel this way? His eyes had the power to freeze me in one spot. I can't move, and I find myself not wanting to anyway.

"Be with me again, please." He begged, leaning towards my face.

His hands pinned my wrists against my car, the cold metal of it causing me to shiver.

"No way." I said. My voice wavering do to the sudden chill my body was experiencing, before the memories all started to come, I forced them back out.

He pressed his body against mine, trapping me in between the car and himself. His body smelled like the woods and cinnamon, simply intoxicating to my senses.

I couldn't concentrate on anything anymore; I was lost in him all over again.

His lips came down onto mine roughly, igniting a fire in my veins, just like our first time. He growled when I didn't grant him access into my mouth, biting my lip. His grip on my wrists lessened before he finally let go. His hands moved to my breast and moved higher to my neck, resting there.

His fingers wrapped themselves around my throat, squeezing it as he grinded against me roughly, causing me to whimper.

 _How could I let this happen? Where was my stronger side? How could I tell myself with such authority that no one ordered me, that I was no one's property?_

 _Yet, here I am, allowing him to do these horrible things to me again. Another repeat of mistreatment from him, more bruises to hide, more lies to tell friends and family, more relationship problems, and more stress that could have been avoided in the first place._

 _I am a traitor to my own mind now. A prisoner of the love we once shared. The love he once gave me. Perhaps I couldn't take him out of my mind because he was or might have been my first love?_

 _No, that couldn't have been it. He's changed now, he is not who he used to be when we were together. I have no idea who this monster in front of me is anymore._

 _But at the same time, I still find myself craving these same hands that used to cause me so much pain, to cause me so much happiness and pleasure._

 **Chapter Two: Changing Paces**

 _ **Disclaimer: I do not and will not ever own Twilight.**_

I woke up to the shrill sound of my alarm going off. It was now time to get up and go to school, again. But today was Friday that made me going about my morning with a smile along with pep in my step.

Finally deciding on what to wear, I chose on wearing black tights, my black and pink shirt that had lace on the back of it with my black and pink converse.

The day was going good; Creeper hadn't shown up for first period, which was fantastic for me. The teacher was in a good mood, so we were able to just play on the computers, watch movies, or listen to music in the classroom.

I laid my head down on the table, crossing my arms over so I would have that as a sort of pillow.

 _This was so nice, no distractions, no creeper to disrupt my calm, and no work from the teacher. Life was certainly good._

 _SLAM_!

I look up to see who or what was the source of all that noise. Lo and behold, the creeper has arrived.

 _I guess I relaxed too long and the universe has to punish me now by sending in the damned creeper. Why oh why does he have to do this to me? I know exactly how this is going to go down._

I set my backpack away from harm and being taken, sighing all the while. I was silently hoping that someone would come in and then he wouldn't be able to hurt me or use me anymore.

He turned the lights off and played music from his phone so that no one would be able to hear my struggles.

"Hey kitten, miss me yet?" he said, flashing that damned crooked smile.

I hated that smile. I hated him. I hated how he did these things to me. I hated how I became powerless and weak to stop him from doing it. I hated how I couldn't tell anyone anymore.

He stalked over toward me, his eyes were filled with lust, hunger and some other weird, but normal for him emotion. He took the chair that was next to me, moving it to the other table and pulled me up from my chair, slamming me against the wall.

I was used to this by now. This had been going on for months now. Maybe even a year. It's been like this since the second semester of sophomore year. I wonder how many bruises had I covered up in that span of time?

His hands were on my thighs, squeezing them both painfully hard as his lips dominated my own.

It's sad how I had gotten so used to this. I knew what to do to tune this out, to tune him out. I knew I couldn't do anything to stop him. No one would believe me and this bastard knew it.

His hands were on my hips; his fingers were digging into the skin, causing me to cry silently into his mouth.

His lips came down to my neck, biting it, stretching the skin with his teeth and pulling at it. Over and over again, until his mark was made. Or until he was proud of the pain it had caused.

It wasn't always like this though. We both knew it.

I wanted to close my eyes, but in fear of what he might do, I kept them open.

His breath hit my ear, causing my stomach to do flips. I wanted to throw up so badly.

"Someone's enjoying this?" he whispered, running his tongue over my neck and up to my ear.

 _So gross, so very gross, I want to rip that damned tongue out of his mouth. But I can't, it would for some reason cause me heart ache to kill him._

 _Maybe it was because of the kid we would have had, if it had survived his hits. Though I never told him, much less anyone, other than Angela and how could I tell him? He wouldn't believe me until I showed him her little grave. I had buried everything about her._

 _Her little shoes, her certificate, her footprints, my love for her, everything that was her, went into that box in the ground._

Tears threatened to surface, but I didn't let it happen. He would think he was the cause and hurt me worse than what he's done in the past.

His hands rested on my throat.

 _He's almost done with me. He'll be finished this time and never come back. Even though the sickest, most damaged part of me will love him and would even miss the creep. The other part of me, the part that's tired of it, won't._

His hands tightened around the base of my neck. I looked at him this time, silently egging him on, wishing he would do what I was so scared to do. But we both know it wouldn't happen.

He chuckled, his white canines smiling back at me in the darkness. My hands were shaking, I wanted to run, but I knew my body wouldn't let me to do that.

"You want this?" he asked, his fingers rubbing the skin over my windpipe with enough pressure to make it a warning.

I glared at him, wanting nothing more than to spit on his face. I didn't dare speak, lest my voice wavered and gives me away.

"I'd grant that wish, if I didn't enjoy this" he cupped my crotch through my clothes to emphasize, "so much as you did."

"I don't enjoy this. You know it. You're just a sick, twisted monster!" I hissed out, his fingers squeezing my neck painfully tight.

Air was cut off from my lungs as my hands struggled to pry his fingers from my throat, which only granted me with him adding more pressure. I could feel my eyes bugging out of my own head as I looked back at him, the monster.

I could feel a small smile form on my lips as the black spots formed. I let my hands fall down to my sides. My eyes closed, my brain slowly giving up the battle on life.

I felt his lips on my ear again, his breath was hot.

"Do you think I'd actually let go of my only toy so easily?" he said, chuckling darkly and let go of my neck.

I could feel the rush as I inhaled the much needed air back into my body; I fell on my knees and rubbed my throat. Glaring up at him, I pushed him away from me. He stumbled, walking back to me and pulled my hair back. I hissed in pain, my hands grabbing at his to let go.

"I like you in this position, Kitten." He said, using his other hand to force my chin upward to look up at him. His fingers went over my lips, parting them. He smiled wickedly at me, my eyes widening as he shoved two of his fingers into my mouth, causing me to gag.

"Good girl." He cooed.

I bit down on his fingers, smiling as he quickly took them out of my mouth.

 _Oh gross, they taste awful. I really want to just toss my damn cookies all over the floor right now. But more importantly, I want him to let go of my hair._

 _Ugh what was with guys and grabbing a girls' fucking hair? That was such a low blow. Oh. I could do that. Why didn't I think of that?_

He pulled my face to the front of his jeans, ordering me to do something that I probably would really vomit if I did. I stared up at him, defiantly.

 _Hell to the no. I am not going to do that. Who knows where that nasty thing has been? I would rather just die then take him in my mouth. Knowing me, I'd bite that thing off. That is very tempting though, now that I think about it._

His hand grabbed both of my wrists and held them together over my head, while his other hand began fumbling with his jeans.

"I'll rip that thing off, creeper, I swear to you I will." I thrashed around, before he shoved me back against the wall with his legs trapping my upper body.

 _Ugh, I hated this guy. He could die, yet I would still care. What has he done to me? I barely even know myself anymore. What have I become?_

"Say you want it. Say you want me, and maybe I'll be nice and give you what you ask for." He smirked again.

"I'd rather you kill me, then do that. Because knowing me, I'd rip it off and let you bleed out on this floor." I said calmly.

He chuckled darkly, closing his eyes as he lifted me to my feet. He dusted the little dirt I had on my clothes from being on the floor and when he was done, he looked down on me.

"I'm so sorry for this. I just lose control whenever we're alone. Forgive me. I really didn't mean to hurt you, you just drive me crazy." He said, backing away, his eyes were filled with so many emotions. In his eyes were sadness, confusion, anger, and maybe even love?

 _I couldn't understand why there was love in his eyes. He hated me, had to have hated me in order to do all of this. I could understand all of his other emotions, but why love? That was my biggest question._

He fixed his clothes, walking away from me and left me while I was in my own thoughts.

 _Did he feel love towards me? If so, that just made things more complicated for me and my over thinking brain. He's never mentioned love though._

 _Ugh, I need Angela now more than ever._

The day went by very quickly. I guess it was because I had spent most of it writing, doing assignments, or just being inside my head. As I was on my way to my car, a voice stopped me in my tracks.

"Well, well, well if it isn't Hells Bells." Ugh that fake southern voice sounded like Lauren.

I turned around to see Lauren and Tanya. They were popular rejects, so they hung out with anyone that didn't turn them away at first glance.

They became friends when they had both been "left behind" by their other friend, Jessica and Rosalie. My guess was that they had dropped them was because they found out that Lauren and Tanya were just full of shit as well as themselves.

Sad part is they couldn't even see it. What a pity.

"What now?" I ask, crossing my arms over my chest and readjusted my bags seeing as how I might be here for a while.

Lauren was the first to speak, "Are you dating Edward? You know for a fact that Tanya saw him first, and he was going to ask her out before he saw your man-stealing self." She nearly shrieked out.

I rubbed my ears, shrugging at her accusation.

"Are you or are you not?" Tanya asked, speaking for herself for once.

"If I am, I am. If I'm not, I think you can figure the rest out." I said, looking at my phone that was suddenly buzzing like crazy.

 _12 messages, 4 voicemails and 27 missed calls within the hour? Who the hell does this? Oh, it's just the Creeper. I forgot I accidently gave him my number. Ugh, why in the seventh circle of hell did I do that?_

 _Oh that's right. We dated before he turned into this what he is now. That's a story for later though._

"Smart ass, but everyone says you're just all talk and no bite." Lauren said, smirking.

"Why fight when I have pictures as well as words that could have you destroy your very existence right now? I don't have to resort to using my fists when my words do more psychological damage." I smirked wickedly at the two of them.

They knew my reputation; the school was soon coming to learn that it was true as well.

 _Maybe these two should be the perfect example? Oh, they already were. Such a shame, however some take twice to learn from their mistakes. What a wonderful proposition to take on._

"Funny how you say I steal men, when your friend, Lauren has "Taken" every boyfriend you've had." I yawned out, fanning away the sleepiness that dared to take over.

I wasn't done with them yet and they knew it.

"What are you saying? Lauren is my sister! She'd never do that to me! She cares about me!" Tanya said, shaking her head, her short black curls moved slightly.

Lauren began to look around, her almost honey almond hair moved with her head, covering her shoulders. Her face scrunched up, her eyes held anger in them.

I smiled now. This made me pleased. I had gotten into her head and bothered her, caused her to get angry.

Lauren looked as though she were about to charge at me like the bull she looked like. But she didn't. She regained her composure before speaking.

"Unlike you, I would never use my friends for my own benefits." She said coolly, smirking.

"You mean to say that you've stopped your old habits? You have ALWAYS used everyone to get what you wanted; you used Jessica because she had something you wanted. And when she saw through you, like Tanya will, she left you and made new friends. You are nothing but a leech. You suck up everything people give you and give nothing in return, not even a thank you. Why? Because that's probably what you're family does to you at home, or maybe all your past relationships." I spat out, walking away from the two idiots.

 _Ugh, now I have to see what Edward wants. He's calling me again. Hopefully, it's to say that he's done with me or he's found someone that he can be with so he doesn't have to do these horrible things anymore._

 **Authors' Note: Okay, so I don't know if you all want me to include their (Edward and Bella's) back story or what. If I get at least 5 or 6 reviews from y'all, I will include it in the next chapter.** **Hopefully y'all are enjoying it; I'm trying my best to do a good job at keeping this updated and reading your reviews and questions if you have any. Sorry for this long A.N.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

 **Chapter Three: Secrets**

 _It was now February, and I had yet to leave this school, to leave him. Why did I feel so drawn to him, yet so repulsed by him? What was wrong with me? I need to see a therapist._

I answered the phone.

"Hello?"

" **Why haven't you been answering my calls or messages? I know you've seen them. Never mind, I'll see you tonight." He said.**

With that he hung up, leaving me confused, yet again.

 _Wait, what did he mean by coming to see me tonight? He doesn't even have my address. Or does he? He probably does, but it doesn't mean I have to open the door for him._

 _Well, I probably would, even if there's a bunch of little alarms going off in my head saying I shouldn't. There was just something about this boy that drove me crazy._

 _Maybe I was starting to like all the abuse that I couldn't even see it as being abusive toward me anymore? There's this rational side that knows, without a doubt that this is wrong and that I shouldn't deal with this. Then there's the stronger side of me, which sees this as Edward showing his love for me and keeping his promise._

 _~Buzz Buzz~_

 _Another text from him, I can barely conceal my excitement._

 _ **Edward: Where are you? It is 6 o'clock and I have yet to see your car in your driveway.**_

 _Ugh what kind of guy just waits around like that? Doesn't he have anything better to do?_

 _Me: What the hell are you doing at my house, you creep?"_

 _ **Edward: Waiting on you. Where are you? Never mind, just get here now.**_

 _Me: No way. Get off my property or I call the cops. Goodbye._

 _Why did I have to date him? Why did no one stop me from doing this? Oh that's right, I dated him because he seemed like a nice, funny, sweet, weird guy. He wasn't always like this though. I keep going back to how he was, how he used to be._

 _The thought made me smile._

 _ **~Ring Ring Ring~**_

" _Hello?"_

" _ **Hey Bells! Jessica and I were in the neighborhood and wanted to know if you wanted to go to the fair with us and a few others Downtown?" Angela asked.**_

Jessica must have been driving around because music was playing in the background and her driving voice as well as the screeching sound of tires was heard.

" _Sure, tomorrow? Or next weekend?"_

" _ **Tomorrow, so Jessica will drive by and come get you in the morning."**_

" _Alright, I'll have money for her gas and will see if I can go by the bank or scrape up some change and I'll see y'all in the morning."_

" _ **Alright Bella, see you tomorrow!"**_

" _Alright Angela, see you then!"_

I hung up the phone after that, putting my phone back into my bag and turned on my street.

 _It's so good to be home. I have to feed Cutiepie, I'm sure she's hungry by now, and probably needs her pads changed._

By then I had pulled up into my driveway and he was nowhere to be found. I parked my car, turned it off and locked it when I had gotten everything I needed out. I walked to the front door, unlocking it and going inside.

 _Then my vision went black._

 _~Unknown amount of hours passed~_

 _Ouch. Why does my head hurt_ _so much?_

I went to rub the sore spot, sitting up on a bed? This was not my room.

 _I couldn't see much. The lights were off. The only light that came in was from the moon light through the window. Where was I? The room looked very familiar._

The door opened, light came in from the doorway. A figure's shadow was in the middle of the light. I grabbed whatever was next to me for a weapon.

I looked down at what I found and saw that it was a pillow.

 _Are you serious right now? Of all the things to fight with, like am I going to be able to kill him with pillow feathers or something? I highly doubt it. But, it's worth a shot._

"Oh I didn't expect you to wake up so suddenly, kitten."

 _That voice? This must be his house. Or should I say lair? Somehow that seems to fit much better._

He came into my line of sight. He was holding something, it looked like clothing. Why was he carrying a woman's clothes?

"What am I doing here? Wait, did you carry me all the way here?" I ask, looking down at myself suddenly.

 _Those were my clothes. This is the last place I wanted to be naked. Why was this guy so bent on keeping me?_

"Hush Kitten, all that will come later, for now, I'd like to just enjoy our moments we have before my mother returns."

He stalked toward me, taking off his clothes with every step. I didn't try to escape, remembering what happened last time. I pulled the covers up to shield my body away from his hungry eyes.

 _Maybe I could talk my way out of this? It worked a few times in the past. Maybe this time it can work again and bring out the other side of him, perhaps his real side?_

"Please don't. I don't want this. You know I don't." I pleaded, scolding myself internally for sounding so weak.

He was naked now.

 _Seriously, what did I see in him? His body isn't the best, but it very well may be the worst I've seen. Yeah, it most likely is the worse. I guess personality can make a huge difference, because I knew I didn't stay with him for the sex. It was always horrible, as well as short in time._

I was dragged forward by my ankles to him, the cover was already gone. His body was hovering over mine. He breathed heavily on my face, making me scrunch my face in disgust as his smell covered my senses.

 _Oh gross, he still dips. I don't have any problem with people who do it; I just wouldn't kiss them because it tends to leave an odor on their body. Which is weird, because it doesn't affect their breath, it just makes everything on them sort of taste bad or like dip. Ugh no wonder he repulsed me now on a major level, the smell of him was my kind of repellent. I doubt he knew._

My eyes scanned around the room, searching for all, if any, and possible escape routes.

 _Escape was already futile, yet my brain still thought we had a chance. I'm glad one of us is willing to try. My body had given up when I saw him, just accepted its fate. How selfish._

His fingers were doing pleasurable things at first, and then he saw that I may have been having some enjoyment and it angered him to no end.

So, there were no more soft kisses, loving holds, or delicate menstruations. His monster was unhappy; therefore he was unhappy, which resulted in him giving me pain. Unrelenting, mind searing pain that I was forced to submit to.

"Please stop, Edward. I don't want this. You're hurting me." I whimpered out when he had stopped his hand that was so bent on stretching me from the inside out.

He didn't seem to listen. He continued his onslaught on my body, placing his other hand on top of my stomach in order to stop my body from writhing in pain.

I tried earnestly to move away from him, the headboard stopped me from escaping, as well as his hands.

When I looked back up at him for the first time, his eyes were soft as he looked down at my body, settling his body between my legs.

 _No, no, no, not this. Anything but this, I don't want this. Hands move! Legs kick! Do something! Hurt him, do anything to keep it from happening!_

I battled with myself internally, my body finally responding to its master and began to thrash around.

He held my arms over my head, kicking my legs open farther apart with his knees. His eyes were empty again, as if someone else had taken over his mind and body.

He positioned himself, surging forward. Eliciting silent screams from my mouth, I turned my head to the side and refused to look at him.

He saw that as a sign of resisting him. He turned my head to face him, to stare into the soul-less pits that were his eyes.

"Look at me, kitten." He breathed out.

"No! Just hurry up and get off of me." I said, my voice breaking at the end.

 _I wanted to curl up and vanish. Why was this happening to me? Was I so blinded by my likeness for him that I never saw his truer side surface? I must have been. I just want him off of me._

 _He's trying to kiss me now. Is he trying to make this sensual? I want to vomit. I feel like I'm going to vomit. Hold it in. just make it until you can get home._

"What are you thinking?" He asked, turning my head again until I was able to stare into his eyes.

 _Did he just ask me such an inane question? Just ignore him if you can, Bella. It's not worth getting hit or worse, him going longer._

"You really don't want to know. Just hurry and finish so I can leave." I hissed out, pulling my head away from his grip.

 _ **~SLAP~**_

 _His hits hurt more than his man downstairs. How amusing. The fair! I won't be able to go. I should call them to let them know that I won't be able to go anymore._

"I think you'll stay for another round with that mouth of yours." He said, obviously nearing his release.

"We both know it's not going to happen. It never does." I spat out, my smart ass side coming out.

 _ **~SLAP, SLAP~**_

A punch to my stomach as well as another slap to my face, more bruises to hide from friends.

 _Though, with enough makeup, they wouldn't even question anything. Besides I didn't really want to worry them about my troubles, they had their own problems to deal with; they didn't need to listen to mine when they had enough of their own._

He came on my stomach. Getting up to get me a towel, he had said. He came back in the room after a few seconds, wiping it off of me.

When he was done, I got my clothes from the dresser it laid on top of and got dressed. He tried to apologize, telling me that he didn't mean to, that it was a mistake, that he'd never do it again.

 _He broke his promise. But then again, he always said that he would do this to me one day. That he'd do something like this, something I'd never be able to forgive him for and that I'd hate him._

 _But, I still don't hate him. I can't bring myself to ever completely hate him. The sad part about this is that I'd probably take him back in my arms if he asked me back._

 _How sick can a person get before they finally snap? What will make me snap? What or who should I say, will be the cause of it? The last drop in my bucket before I finally just tip over and everything comes flooding in, drowning me completely?_

I walked out of his room, not really remembering how to get home from his house, but it shouldn't be too hard, right?

"Wait, I'll walk you home. It's the least I can do, Bella." He said. His voice was soft, almost child-like.

I kept walking, not really knowing where I was going. I needed to get home.

'Numb' by Linkin Park came into my head.

I'm tired of being what you want me to be  
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface  
I don't know what you're expecting of me  
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes  
Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow  
Every step that I take is another mistake to you  
Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow

I've become so numb, I can't feel you there  
become so tired, so much more aware  
by becoming this all I want to do  
is be more like me and be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me?  
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control  
'Cause everything that you thought I would be  
has fallen apart right in front of you 

_I have to call Angela._


	2. Chapter 2

Drowning on Fire

 **A.N. Okay, so I have no idea as to what I'm doing here. I know I've done at least 2 chapters so far and again, I'm nervous still about this story. I love it, well not love it, it's more so a strong like, seeing how it's personal. Anyway, enough with my personal stuff, on with the show! Leave comments or reviews! :) Also, one last note, I think I'll include Bella's back story with Edward, in this chapter to help some of you understand what's going on. Also, I checked my first update on this story and saw that the format of it was all out of whack and I don't know how to fix it yet, so until then, all of my chapters are going to be 6,000 words (20 to 21 pages long) ugh this is going to be so much fun.** **Enjoy everyone!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight**

 **Chapter 2: Hiding Masks**

 _I feel bad that I came in between their plans. Why was I such a lousy friend? Why couldn't I just let everyone have their fun? No one needed me around._

 _I know Jessica was annoyed by the last minute plans. I felt like such a burden now. I know they're my friends, but why do I feel like their lives would be better if I wasn't in it or if they didn't have me they would have less problems to deal with?_

 _Wow, I may have hella low self-esteem. Oh, he's still behind me and I'm lost. Should I ask him where to go? I wonder how he got this far carrying me without anyone finding it odd. Did he plan this out?_

"Bella, talk to me. I didn't mean to do that back there. I'm sorry." He said, his voice sounding child-like again.

 _That is strangely adorable. Should I talk to him? Should I even accept his apology?_

Before I knew it, my mouth opened and began to speak.

"It's okay, I know you didn't. You just lost control of yourself."

I wanted to cover my mouth, here I was, walking home after being sexually assaulted by my ex-boyfriend, who was walking with me and I was trying to comfort _him_? I must be dreaming, on acid, or some kind of spell. I should be angry, I should call the police, I should feel grossed out by just being near him, but I'm not.

"This only happens when I'm alone with you. It's just something about you that just drives me crazy with want for you and I don't understand it at all."

I looked back at him; he was walking by my side, as if we were friends or old lovers.

"Yeah, it usually happens. Maybe it means you like me or whatever." I shrugged my shoulders and began kicking a rock that was in front of me.

"That's not good, Bella. It means that I'll hurt you even worse than I did today. It means one day, I may kill you and not know it." He says, his face scrunching up in anger and also sadness.

 _I wanted to hug him. I think I may actually be crazy now. This is not how I imagined myself going crazy. I wanted to console him though._

I moved in front of him, stopping him from walking any further. It's not like I was any rush to get home anyway. I took a breath in and I hugged him. The scariest part was he hugged me back.

 _What are we doing? We shouldn't be doing this. This is wrong on so many levels. I shouldn't want to touch him ever again. He violated the trust we had, the promises we shared. Yet here I am hugging him with all my might and letting him hold me tighter._

 _Were we both damaged people? I know we both have family issues. He doesn't know his own father. I detest my father and my mom is annoying at times, but I love her so I want to impress her. I feel like she doesn't love me, that with the death of my brother, I had been replaced, that there was no more space in her heart to love me anymore._

 _I think we both craved affection, the feel of someone's hands on us, another human being with us to give us what we needed. And then we stumbled across each other and now we're here. He said he loved me. He said he would never hurt me. But he did, and keeps doing so. Is this really healthy?_

 _But if you loved someone, what lengths would you go to in order to ensure their love for you? That's the question continued to ask myself._

I let go of him, my arms falling at my sides. He let his arms fall from around me as we began the journey to my house again.

It was a quiet walk for a few moments until I spoke up, tired from the deafening awkward silence that was between us now.

"Why do you do that, you know what you did back there?" I ask him, putting my hands into my pockets. I walked next to him, but with enough space between us to where we weren't touching.

He put his head down, frowning slightly before he looked back up at the road.

"Sometimes I just lose control when I'm alone with you; I would have thought you'd remember that conversation." He looked at me, then back at the sidewalk.

It was true. I did remember the conversation. It was when he had first tried to attack me. We were at my house now and I walked up the hill to the front door, all of my things were still where I had left them. I locked the door, and began my normal routine.

 _ **~Flash Back Time~**_

 **Edward texted me again, asking if I was on my way over or not. I told him that I was maybe 5 minutes away, as I was walking down the hill and over the small bridge. I had to go through the back gate because his mother was home and didn't know of our relationship.**

 **Actually, no one knew the full story of our relationship to be honest, except Angela, who knew most, but even then I hadn't told her the entire story. I hated keeping things from her, but I felt as though she would judge my actions if I were to tell her, so I thought better, and chose not to let her know everything. As of right now, she thinks Edward and I aren't together, that we broke up.**

 **Though, that's actually true. We did break up. In my mind at least, yet here I am, trudging through the muddy grass to his backyard. The hardest part was opening the gate.**

 **I texted him to let him know that I was at the right area and he came outside from the back door of his house.**

 **He looked nervous for a moment as he looked around, scanning the yard as he came down the stairs.**

" **You actually came alone?" he asked.**

 _ **That was a stupid question, of course I came alone. Why would I bring anyone else? They could very well find out about this and that would be very embarrassing once it was found out.**_

" **Yeah, why wouldn't I?" I asked him, tensing as he came closer and closer to me.**

" **You can't come in tonight; she's still up and walking around the house. So we'll have to use that." He gestured to the tent that I had just noticed.**

 **It looked small, but whatever. I had no issues with using it just to talk to him. The tent looked a little bigger on the inside, but even then it looked like it would just be for one person, I thought as I crawled inside.**

" **You'll have to scoot over in there or do you want me to lie on top?" I heard him say from outside the tent, once I managed to get comfortable.**

" **It's okay, I'll scoot over." I said, moving to the side to make room on the side for him. Thankfully he had enough room so that we were both on out sides, just facing each other.**

" **So what did you want to talk to me about, Edward?" I ask him.**

 **He moved my body to where he was on top of me, pinning me beneath him. His breathing was ragged as he moved the hair away from my face, he stared at my face. It seemed as though he was trying to look at every cell that was in my face with how close he was looking, it scared me.**

" **Please, give it to me, just one more time, Isabella." He begged out, his lips moving from my forehead, to my nose, to my cheek and stopped above my lips.**

 **I turned my head away, knowing what he was asking for. I refuse to play his game this time. But I couldn't move much, I was trapped inside the lion's den. It was my own fault, I gave it him pleasure far too much for his own good. He had gotten angry when I wrote him the letter, telling him we were over.**

 _ **He obviously didn't like it. Just like the first time I told him, he would glare at me, follow me around the school, befriend my friends in order to get to me again, change his classes to mine, and memorize my schedules. I had no idea why I hadn't changed schools.**_

 **He put his other hand under my chin, holding it up so that he could bite my neck, my strongest weak spot. I crossed my legs as best as I could before he moved his leg in between them, raising his knee up to my crotch. I whimpered out in protest, wanting to fight against him, against this, but my body was almost beginning to succumb to him.**

" **The more you fight, the more painful this will be for you, Bella. Just do it one last time, and I won't ask again. I promise." He whispered into my ear, biting it softly, causing me to moan aloud. He got to another weak spot of mine.**

 _ **Fuck, I'm going to lose this battle with him again. How can his hands feel so wrong, yet so right against my skin? Even his smell is intoxicating my senses. Why did I let him do this to me?**_

 **He kissed me for the first time since we had broken up. It was sort of sweet. This was probably just a ploy to get me to surrender to him though. But even if it wasn't real, why did it feel so real to me? Why did it make me want more?**

 **His lips were so soft, they weren't sweet, but they were soft against mine** _ **. How could no one hear us? Or even see this happening? It was in his backyard? Ugh.**_ **He pulled away from my lips to assault my neck again.** _ **Why did this have to feel good with him, of all people?**_

 **His hand still had my wrists pinned above my head as his other hand went underneath my sweat pants. As soon as I felt his rough, cold fingers inside me, I began to fight with a new vigor. I thrashed around, his fingers suddenly becoming more and more painful as he added three now, stretching me. I arched my back, gasping at the sudden pain.**

 **He kissed me to silence my noises, shoving his tongue into my mouth as he continued to violate me. His eyes were solid black now when I looked at him. He bit my lip, sucking it into his mouth.**

 **He smiled; his black eyes showed the evil he wanted to do to me. Then he blinked, his eyes returning to their normal bluish green color. He removed his hand from my pants and released my wrists.**

" **I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen." He said, moving off of me and out of the small tent. I blinked in shock, trying to understand what just happened.**

 **I crawled out of the tent, looking at him as he walked to me. He straightened out my shirt and jacket, covering my mouth when I opened my mouth to yell at him.**

" **I know you're mad at me, and maybe even disgusted by my actions for the past weeks you were ignoring me. I apologize for my behavior." He told me looking down at the ground.**

 **I sighed, knowing that there was no need to let anyone know about this, because I didn't want anyone to know how weak I was and that I didn't have to answer his invitation if I knew what he was about in the first place.**

" **I won't tell anyone, relax and just walk me home okay?" I told him, unlocking the gate and started the walk back to my house. He followed me, surprised that I wouldn't tell on him, as if I could.**

 _ **That would be embarrassing for the both of us, though I doubt that anyone would have believed my story. Especially seeing as how I used to date him and in this generation, a woman would have to get the guy to admit it, a video of it taking place, neighbors saying they saw it, and a pint of blood to test it before they would even think about taking her seriously.**_

 _ **It was sad actually. One girl ruined it for every girl out there because she was too afraid to tell the truth. Now, no one takes women serious. Though, some really aren't upset about that actually. They're more worried about wanting to dress how they see fit, getting more privileges than men nowadays. Ugh, some modern day feminists irked me.**_

 **(** _ **A.N. sorry about the personal rant, I just think things should be fair and not about clothes and trying to get females to be treated better than men)**_

" **I don't know why, but every time I find myself alone with you, something just takes over me and has to have you. I literally have no control whenever I'm with you." He confessed, walking by my side.**

" **It's okay. It seems I have that effect on every guy that has an interest in me." My mind went to all my past relationships, all of them were the same in my mind. They could never keep to themselves, it was all about sex, and it was all about getting what they wanted out of it. Edward proved to be no different now in my eyes. But then again, maybe it was just a way for me to cross out my choices better, as well as quicker.**

" **That's not a good thing to brag about. I could really hurt you one day. Worse than what I did back there." He said as we trudged up the hill.**

" **But you didn't. So don't worry about it." I said, wanting this conversation to be over now.**

" **How can I not? I could do it one day and you'll end up hating me and leave me. You wouldn't love me." He said, shocking me and causing my brain to over work itself.**

 _ **Does he love me? Or is this just him speaking hypothetically? But I don't love him. It may feel like it, but it's more than likely just simple, but confusing infatuation that I'm feeling for him, a nothing more. But feelings can be complicated.**_

" **I couldn't hate you. You should know that about me by now, I can't hate anyone really, if I'm being honest with myself. So, don't worry about it. Just don't do it again and maybe we can be friends?" I ask, smiling at him. We were almost to my house by now. I was delaying going home for some reason.**

" **I'm not sure we could be friends though. I'd be too worried about losing control around you when we're alone." He walked with his down and reached into his pocket, pulling out a can of Wintergreen, which just looked like Astroturf to me. He put some of the contents in his lip.**

 **I see he was still trying to fit in with the people at school. Sigh. My house came into view finally.**

" **Which one is yours?" he asked, some of his "grass" coming out of his lip. I was tempted to make a joke, but put the urge behind me and became serious again.**

" **This one." I said, pointing to the two-story house." He looked at the house, suddenly nervous for some reason.**

" **Should I walk you up or something?" he asked, surprising me again. I shook my head.**

" **No, my uh, mom is still up and it's not necessary to do. Anyway, give me a hug and run home." I told him.**

 **He gave me a tight hug that made my heart race. Weird, I hugged him back, not want to keep it up longer than I should have; I let my arms fall and moved away from his warm embrace. He smelled like the dirt and fake grass.**

 _ **This is definitely not something I like to smell unless the guy I was with was a construction worker or a gardener. But he wasn't either of those things. He was a sort of simple boy who couldn't get his feelings across the right way yet.**_

 _ **I frankly didn't want to deal with it.**_

 _ **~Flash Back Time Over~**_

 _I miss those days when it was much easier to just ignore him. Now, I felt compelled to answer him. I tried explaining the situation to Angela, but she just shook her head and told me to just ignore the creep. But that was easier said than done._

 _My heart was being complicated and tried to make it seem that he did this out of love. This ruined a good amount of relationships I had. He was constantly on my mind, though the more I thought about him, the more grossed out I got by him. Yet, I still went to him when he would text me to meet him in the classroom._

 _Though, that was for entirely different reason. The times where I didn't do what he ordered me to do, resulted in him causing a public scene, one where he'd hurt me, but not so much to where he'd make me too much noise or anything, but cause me enough pain to get the result he wanted._

 _I can sadly say that this has worked on me so many times. But he isn't as rough with me anymore because the last time he ordered me to have sex with him, he saw the bruises and asked where they came from. I told him that he caused them, though they didn't really hurt anymore, I didn't let him know that. Other times he would have used that to cause more of them or make them hurt again. Those moments I didn't like. I had an easy enough job to do. I go to him when ordered, though never when he was dating anyone. He didn't like to cheat on his girls._

 _But whenever they ended up on a break or they dumped him, he would have, of course, taken his anger out on me every time. Inside of me, there was some twisted side of me that loved the idea of him confiding in me, even though it was under those circumstances. For the life of me, I couldn't understand why I wanted him so bad or why I craved him this intensely._

 _The sex was awful and very short, time wise as well as other things. He was completely clueless down there. So almost always, he never pleasures me with his mouth. I'm happy for it, because I probably wouldn't have been able to fake it that good. Going to school and keeping up the act that we were both angry at each other was very easy to do._

 _Every day he'd act as though he hated my guts or didn't know me. I'd act as if he was the biggest nuisance of my life. It worked. Everyone believed the act so well, because I honestly couldn't stand the damn guy. Well more than half of me couldn't. The other half loved the guy, or thought it was in love with the guy. I wasn't exactly sure as to how that was the stronger side of my body._

 _He just brought something out of me that just couldn't say no to him. I tried so hard to say no, I could only do a few times in a week, then I would give in to him and we'd go to our usual place. He'd either try to fuck me, choke me and kiss me, try to make me blow him, but I already told him "no" to blowing. It smelled awful, tasted awful, was way too hairy, and too small to do anything with._

 _It was already a chore trying to moan during the boring sex we had and I think he was starting to figure out that I had faked it from the beginning. Oops, I'd say I was sorry, but I'm not Justin Bieber and I won't apologize to him. He doesn't deserve my forgiveness._

Today was another boring day. I had become frenemies with Lauren when she had her falling out with Tanya. Though she thought she was getting the upper hand on me with her sad excuse manipulation. I was the one who taught her how to do that in the first place. I knew the other reason for her "forgiving" me was a ploy for her to get close to Jessica again and possibly turn Jessica on me.

This crazy drama was only happening because Angela left and that was my only real friend I had at school that wouldn't and didn't use me for what I had and that's when everyone decided to attack me. I understood her reason for going to another school. Things were becoming far too stressful for her and she needed a new, friendlier environment to be around. Though it pained me to see her go, because now I'd have no one to talk to, but she had to.

I used to think of Rosalie as a friend, until she had spread all those rumors about me. So I did what any good-hearted person would have done, and cursed her, the best part about it is, she still doesn't have a clue about it. I didn't do anything life-threatening to her though. Just the same curse I put on Lauren, which may have been a bit too harsh for her and her "partner".

We were juniors by now and I seriously wanted the games to stop as much as Jessica did. So I made my circle smaller, hung out with people who I actually trusted, and kept the big secrets to myself and my journals. Then more drama had gone down.

Jessica began to become popular and let it almost go to her head when she was going out with Mike. Mike was a home schooled, nice, honest, and down-to-earth guy. The thing Jessica didn't like about him was that he was poor, she thought. Or at least that's what people said, and what he said. They were an adorable couple, I was never jealous of them. I wanted them to make it, but with the way Jessica griped onto him about the little things, I knew things weren't going to work out.

Then there was talk about her fighting Rosalie at school. What a pity. Everyone had thought Jessica would be the loser since she had a smaller frame than Rosalie. Rosalie looked like she worked out, but it turned out that she only did mouth exercises. That was very exciting, until Rosalie questioned my friendship with her. I told her the truth, we weren't friends anymore. She just couldn't be trusted to do right and I didn't want my magic to rub off on me.

To say that she was livid was an understatement, but I didn't care. I personally thought I was being nice by ending the friendship. It wasn't healthy for me and I needed to focus on hanging out with Alice more. I hadn't really hung out with her since I was around Jessica a lot.

Jessica usually had me with her and her guy almost every other day, it was almost becoming like a routine in my mind. We'd go out, hang out at the mall, Mike's house, or at the field. The more I hung around the two the more arguments I would see them get into. I tried to help out and calm them both down, but it was taxing on my energy.

I cared about Jessica's well-being, though she may be tough as a bull and more stubborn than a goat, but she was loyal like a wolf. I wanted what was best for her, which didn't seem like Mike would be the best choice for her. He was too nice it seemed like it for her and she desired someone with more of a stronger hand. I could understand that.

Edward was dating someone. That meant no bruises, no hitting, no forced sex, or anything for however long he was with that person. I know he had tried to date some people in my inner circle, but they could sense a fuckboy a mile away and I knew he'd treat them differently than how he treated me. That was to be expected though, when it came to me, he'd have a multiple personality disorder for some bizarre reason. I didn't want to understand him anymore, I only wanted to be free of his hold and that seemed like it would have happened with this girl he was with. She was pretty, but not smart enough to detect a wolf in sheep's clothing when she saw it. But I do have to admit, he can play a pretty convincing gentleman when it came to it. Hell, he had me fooled for almost two years now. There were times I'd see how nice he was capable of being toward me, even behind closed doors.

It was a side, he hadn't shown anyone. He let his guard down with me sometimes, allowing us to actually talk as two regular human beings. It was nice, even if those moments were cut short by his "beastly" side. I held those moments in my journals. Though most were in my little green journal, but now that it was filled I would have to write in the pink one now. Ugh it was too much of a "girly" colored journal that I rarely wrote in it.

He didn't talk to me or look at me for two months. Two long, wonderfully sad months, I had begun to think that this girl might have been the "one" for him. Alas, she wasn't, she was run off by him for whatever reason. It was nice while it lasted. Soon after, he had started back up with his routinely glaring and beckoning with his eyes to go to him.

Sad as it was, part of me missed it, nearly craved it while he was with that girl. But the smarter side, refused to go to him, refused to play this stupid game and refused to give him attention. He was getting more and more frustrated with every time refusal I gave him. There was only so much rejection he would take from me before he'd lose it in front of everyone. I dreaded that day. He hadn't really done it in a while. Then again, he had not had a reason to punish me as of yet.

I was wearing my gray Old Navy sweatpants with a white tank top and black hoodie. I honestly didn't feel like getting dressed up for high school ass holes that could care less about what I look like. Especially knowing that I didn't really give a damn about fitting in with the "Millennials" or annoying "Hipsters", who seemed bent on fitting in and worrying about what was in season, or in the minute. It seemed too stressful for someone such as me to try and care about as well as too expensive to try and keep up with the latest trends. School was stressful enough as it was.

I was out in "The Lab", sitting next to my friend, Dylan. He was sweet, odd, and my friend. We were watching music videos on YouTube when Edward walked in. I thought he was going to stay in the classroom seeing as how he usually just puts his stuff on one of the tables in "The Lab" when he'd be staying outside of the classroom. But after he set his things down in the classroom, he came over to where Dylan and I were and pulled a chair up to us.

We were watching 'Habits' by Tove Lo when he said, "Is this a video about lesbians?"

I mentally rolled my eyes at him, sighing that my peace was ruined and continued to listen to the rest of my song. Dylan had stopped paying attention to the music and started talking to Edward, who was wearing a shit-eating grin on his face. I put my earbuds in and turned the music up 'Love Yourself" by Justin Bieber was on and I just went along with it. It was a good song.

My phone/Tablet vibrated on the table, looking at it, I saw that it was from Edward. It was another message demanding me to go to the small, dark and empty classroom. I ignored the messages until it kept buzzing.

 _How did Dylan not notice he was messaging me? This was insane. I'm tempted to just make a scene right now, though I doubt very much so that that would help in my favor at all. And knowing Edward, he'd somehow find a way to flip it all on me. However, I do have the messages! Maybe I can use it as way to hang it over his head? No, that wouldn't work. He most likely still has that picture of me that I sent him._

Sigh. The buzzing stopped. I turned around and saw that he was no longer talking to Dylan, because Dylan had walked to the other group of people and left me to deal with Edward. Edward had pulled his chair next to me, grabbed my tablet, unlocking it, and typed a message.

'Go to the room, now.' Was what the message read. How daft does he think I am? Never mind. I typed to him. "Make me." I'm not sure as to where I got all of this boldness from, but it gave me the extra push I needed to stand up to this creeper. However, knowing exactly how my body and mind works, I know it'll give in if I don't get away from him quick enough.

I felt his hand on my thigh and I could immediately taste the bile that dared to rise inside of my throat. I could smell his gross smell of "Dip", animal piss and firewood. The firewood wasn't generally bad; neither was the "Dip" smell, well now anyway. Just about half of the school had it in their lip. But the animal piss was just gross. He didn't even own a pet at his house. How could he smell like that unless he somehow happened to walk in it along the way here, to school? Whatever the reason, his scent made me sick to my stomach.

The hand on my thigh tightened, his fingers were digging through my tights. I winced in pain, closing my eyes momentarily before he squeezed even tighter, causing me to suck in a breath to keep from screaming.

 _Damn it, why did I have to mouth off to him? This was such a stupid idea, I can't scream or else everyone will find out about this and I'll be embarrassed forever! I can't move to another school and start all over again. I hate seeing new people, I hate being the new kid, having everyone baby you just because you don't know the place. I'll just do as he says and maybe it won't be so painful?_

After agreeing to go to the classroom with him, I stood in between the first two tables that were against the wall and watched with fearful eyes as Edward turned off the lights. He walked over to me slowly, looking back through the large window at the front of the class that was next to the door as if to check how much time he had to assault me. He stared at me, his hands landing on top of my hips, pulling my body closer to his. I turned my head away, not wanting to look at him. He didn't like that. He removed one had from my hip to grab my chin, moving my head to face him. His face leaned into mine, my eyes widened while I desperately tried to move my head. I didn't want those lips anywhere near me. Then again, I didn't want his hands anywhere near me

He kissed my cheek, my neck, and then my lips. The kiss was soft, but seemingly passionate. He pulled my lower lip into his mouth, sucking on it gently and letting it go as he deepened the kiss. My arms slowly came around his neck, my body pressing itself closer to his.

 _What the hell am I doing? He's the enemy! But strange enough, his lips feel nice. Is this what insanity is like? I can't keep doing this to myself. He's not good for me; this arrangement isn't good or healthy for the both of us! One of us has to be the stronger one and just end this. But I know he won't do this, because he actually enjoys doing this to me and believes that I want this as much as he does. Maybe I used to…_

He moaned into my mouth, attempting to French kiss, I kept my lips firmly shut. I had no idea where that thing had been, so there was no way I was going to willingly let it in my mouth. Gross. I put my arms down, moving them to lie on his chest and tried to push him away.

Normally, I'd hate to end up as "That Girl" who always ends up against the wall, unable to fight off the guy. But Edward was stronger than me, physically at least. His hands came around my arms, pushing my body hard against the cold stone-like wall. I winced in pain, shocked that no one heard any of this. Then again, maybe they chose to ignore it.

His mouth left mine as they travelled downward to my neck, biting it hard. He bit my neck anywhere he could find the skin, pulling on the skin with his teeth. I know those left marks. I'm glad I have long enough hair, as well as brown skin; otherwise people would notice and think the worst.

 _Fuck, this hurts so good. I really must be sick in the head to like having my skin practically ripped off of my body. But I already knew I had a neck fetish, I mean, how could you not? I felt like it was a universal weak spot for anyone, though more so women. Not only was it a great place to show off marks, it was a good way to show your sub side to your partner._

His hand went down to my breast, squeezing it painfully hard as he stopped his assault on my neck and began to lower my shirt. He stopped his movements, fixing my shirt as if he was returning to his "normal" side. I sighed a little too early. He faced me; his head cocked to the side, the way a dog would after hearing a weird sound, and spun me around to where my back was to his chest.

I could feel the warmth of his breath on my neck as his hands laid tightly on my hips. I could feel his bulge on my ass. He pushed my upper body down to make me bend over the table with him behind me. I gasped, feeling his fingers dip under the waist band of m sweat pants.

 _He wouldn't do this here, would he? Dumb question, of course he would. He's done this before; well he hasn't ever gone this far with it for in fear of someone catching him in the act. At the point, I wouldn't mind anyone trying to "pop" up._

But no one did. He pulled my sweat pants down slowly, stopping to squeeze my ass painfully hard. I winced in pain, hoping he would hurry and finish soon. He pulled my sweat pants down until they reached the back of my lower thighs. His hands were playing with my crotch from the back, causing me to bite my lip. How was he so good at doing this but not good at fucking? Sigh, I guess the world will never know.

I heard the sound of clothes shuffling behind me. I felt something poke my ass cheek. Edward leaned over on me, pressing his mouth to my ear, "Can you feel that, Bella?" he whispered.

I rolled my eyes, irritated that I was still in this situation with him. So I let my anger show and said, "Barely, like always." I sighed out, not caring anymore.

I felt his hand come around my throat, squeezing it tightly as he positioned himself at my entrance and surged forward. The force of the thrust was the only thing that made me gasp in pain. He pulled out after maybe 6 or 7 thrusts, as per usual. He was breathing heavy as he removed himself from me and pulled my pants back up. I stood up, gathered my things and left the classroom, getting on my bus.


	3. Chapter 3

**A.N. - Okay so I think I may or may not have the hang of this thing yet.** **Thank you everyone (even my ghost readers) for having patience with this newbie. I hope you will continue to read this, if you do, I promise to try my best to update more often. Like maybe once a week or so? Because 6,000+ words is a lot to type in a short time period while I'm still in school. But I'll see how long I want this story to be and go from there. Please leave reviews or comments about what I should change to improve this story. I'll really appreciate it. Anyway, I'll get back to the story now. Enjoy!**

 **Chapter 3: New developments**

 ** _Disclaimer: not exactly sure why I still write this, but I do not own twilight, nor do I make any profit writing this._**

 _Today was so exhausting. I'm ready to go home, soak in my tub and binge on episodes of Supernatural. That sounds really nice right now. Maybe it'll help me unwind from Edwards' now constant attacks in the hallways, classrooms, and everywhere else. The good news is that this weekend I may be able to hang out and sleep over Angela's place. I can't even remember when was the last time I was able to do that._

 _I'm sure she'd love to hear what's been going on at school lately. She's missed so much in the past few months and I haven't been able to talk to her much because of school work, Edward, trying to find a job, Edward, my appointments with my therapist, Edward, and just school drama._

 _Though I'll leave out as much as the Edward situation as much as possible, because I'm not entirely sure who all she talks to and I don't anyone I don't like knowing my secret. It'll ruin me. Not my reputation at school, but all security I've built around my head to help me stay sane. And there's no doubt that she'd keep it a secret or judge me._

 _Then again, how could she judge me when she's betrayed me twice in the past? With her past, I wouldn't even try to ever go outside without hiding away in shame. So maybe it'll just be better to keep the entire Edward situation to myself until I find someone to vent out to that I can trust this secret with. And I hate saying that Angela isn't trustworthy, but she isn't._

As soon as I got through the door I went to wash my hands. After that was done, I went to the fridge to open up the cranberry juice and downed the entire bottle. Now I felt better. I went about my regular routine, cleaning up the puppy, taking her outside, taking a shower and bringing her back in when I was finished.

My phone buzzed. _I'm worried to answer my phone now. I don't want to assume that it's Edward, but the possibility of it being him is very high. The only other person I could think of it was Keith. But he hadn't messaged me in what seems like forever._

I answered the second call. It was an unknown number that had called me.

" **Hello? Is the Isabella?"**

" **Keith? Is this you?" I ask, completely stunned at why he was calling me.**

" **Yeah Bells, I missed you and wanted to let you know that I'm back in town." He said his voice dropped from its cheerful tone to a husky tone.**

" **What about your girlfriend, Keith?" I ask, crossing my arm across my chest.**

" **We actually broke up two weeks ago. And I was wondering if you'd want to hang out, like old times?" his voice wavered.**

 _Could I really do this again with him? He gave me such an emotional roller coaster ride when I was "with" him. I never knew what exactly we were, or if I could even call us a "we" in the first place. I don't think he ever thought of me in a girlfriend type of way, even though at one point of time I thought of him as the ideal boyfriend. That was really stupid of me to do._

" **Oh I'm sorry to hear. I thought you two were going to get married or something?" I asked, trying to take the subject of seeing each other away from his mind.**

" **Turns out she wasn't that type of person to settle down. She was more of a free spirit." He said, nonchalant.**

" **The girl you left me for, saying she was the one and all, left you? I wonder why that was; because I'm not buying this "she wasn't the settling down type" especially seeing as how she was my superior in any and every way." I hissed out.**

 **He chuckled. "I really missed that fire from you. You're right, I managed to mess it up and she saw through me when I said your name while we had sex and my sleep sometimes. So I guess she got sick of it and decided to leave me." He said.**

" **I'm sorry to hear, Keith. But maybe you'll have better luck with the next girl you get with." I told him, biting my lip as my mind went back to all the times we were together.**

 _Maybe I should take him back? Just as a friend with benefits, nothing more. I really miss the all the passionate moments we had together. I had begun to think I'd never get a taste of that ever again, but maybe it was for the best that things ended the way that they did?_

" **So did you want to hang out and catch up, like old times? I'm actually in the neighborhood and wanted to know if I could drop by?" he asked.**

" **You want to come over to see me or see if I'll fuck you?" I said, smiling sadly.**

" **Do you still live at the same house?" he asked.**

" **Yeah, I do." I told him.**

There was a knock on the door. I looked to see if Keith was still on the phone, but he wasn't. I went to the door, opening it and saw Keith. He was just standing there; his truck was parked in front of my house. He hadn't changed at all, after all these months. I opened the screen door, letting him in.

He closed it behind him, kicking off his shoes as he walked in. I looked down and realized I was only wearing my night shirt and nothing else. I saw his eyes scan over my body hungrily before he pulled me close to his body and kissed me roughly, igniting the fire in my body for him all over again. I clung to his body, my hands wrapping themselves around his neck, pulling him even closer to me.

 _He still tastes so good. How is that even possible? I can't get enough of him now that he's here. I want more._

I began helping him take off his shirt and pants. His clothes were slightly dirty from his construction job most likely, but it made him even sexier to me. Most of his clothes were off by the time he had lifted me up, throwing on the bed. He spread my legs apart, his head going between my thighs.

His tongue felt just as good as the first day I had the pleasure of having it on my body. His hands came up from holding my thighs apart to fondle my breasts roughly, almost too hard. I gasped out, my orgasm nearing and building in my stomach. I pulled at his hair, trying to get him to move away. The pain of the pleasure he was giving me was becoming too much and was on the verge of being too painful.

He entered me after many unsuccessful attempts to get away from him. It had been so long since I had a partner that was good in bed, that I nearly came once he was in. He was very animalistic, I couldn't think of anything other than him. I felt my nails claw into his back as he surged forward into me again and again. Everything was so intense with him, yet I loved every second of it.

 _And here was the downside of being with Keith._

 _I awoke with him lying next to me, his arms were around my shoulders and his eyes were closed. I looked up at him, unable to stop myself from the smile that formed on my lips. Before this, he'd never been the one to stay, and I was the one to never let them stay. For fear they'd bury themselves into my heart, behind my walls._

 _Yes there was the fact that we would never be official and the fact that Edward could possibly hurt me even worse than before once he found out that I was and had been with someone else. Would he punish me? I hope not though, I'm not sure how much more I could take from him._

 _I lazily rolled my head to the side, seeing that Keith was still beside me with his arms wrapped around my body. His head was rested on top of my chest with his arms around my waist, pulling me closer to him, if that was even possible to do. He looked strangely adorable in this innocent like position. I found myself smiling to myself again, well until my phone buzzed. I sighed._

 _Well, this was fun while it lasted._

 _The vibration sound that the phone had made had managed to wake Keith. He squeezed me tighter, yawning. There was the sound of bones popping, more than most likely him popping his toes. I guess that habit didn't go away. He situated himself on the side of me as I rolled slightly to reach my phone. I had 17 messages, 5 missed calls and 3 voicemails. All the notifications were from one person, Edward._

 _I groaned at the sight of his name on my phone._

 _I should probably get a new phone number, or learn how to block his number on this one soon. This is starting to get out of hand really quick._

 _The messages were the same, most of them. They all wanted one reaction from me. They wanted me to meet their sender, but I had no reasons as to why I would ever want to do that again of my own free will. I had already told him that it didn't feel right anymore and that my feelings were starting to get the better of me before I even knew what was happening anymore. It was insanity._

 _My feelings and my inability to stop trying to please people were the causes of so many building problems that seemed to be never ending in the quest to just bring me to my end quicker than I anticipated. The stress of trying to keep my secrets away from my friends without lying was eating away at me. I could barely stay asleep without his face coming to my mind over and over again. I could barely to pretend to stay interested with the hobbies I used to love so dearly._

 _I remembered that it worried, Renee. She had me sent away to get help. I thought it would make things better for a while, until nothing had changed. The memories were still there. I laughed at the therapist who had tried to help me. It was comical to me because I couldn't really force myself to open up about the skeletons I had in my closet with some stranger._

 _After she realized that I wouldn't comply, she moved away or something. The second one, another woman, she had also tried to get me to open up, but she took a harsher way at doing so and made me shut her out as well as any feelings and memories I had stored behind the walls I had built to keep people like her, out. She gave up._

 _They sent me to the doctor at the place. His eyes were wide, as if he were taking the drugs he wrote for the other kids here. He'd speak in a calm, soft tone every time. It was creepy. He would ask me what he could do to get me feeling better. I told him to let me go home, as always. He sent me to another therapist. I liked her. She had a different "Air" about her that made me want to keep her as my therapist. She actually had been through what I had been through._

 _It actually made it easier to try and open up to her. I managed to tell her some things, but for fear she may be leaving quickly like the rest, I shared as little as little as possible. She left after 2 months. I think she was the longest therapists that stayed with me. Then two more came after her that was only there for less than a month._

 _I didn't like the last two, they were such idiots. I was kind of glad that I turned 18. I was able to quit the services. They were getting pointless._

 _Keith had left after much persuasion from me. I didn't want to bring him down with my constant mood swings and sudden relapses. The PTSD was enough to scare anyone away. I could have had it not as bad if I had taken my medicine. But I didn't like pills. They weighed me down and I didn't want to be a zombie to myself and end up relying on them to take the memories away. I didn't want to become an addict like the other parts of my family._

 _Tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow would be another day. Today wasn't anything I could have a chance to redo. Though I wished it was something I could redo every day._


	4. Chapter 4

**A.N** **– Okay so I will apologize first hand for not being able to update as much as I said I would have originally. And I have bad news to deliver. Due to personal reasons, the chapters won't be as long as they used to be. But I do promise it'll only be temporary. Anyway, back to the story! Hope you enjoy this long awaited chapter.** **Note that this chapter will change POV'S throughout.**

 **Chapter Four: Changing Pace**

 _Edward's Point of View_

 _How can she just sit and ignore me? Can't she see that I want her? That I need her to be mine and completely mine? Perhaps I need to handle her with a calmer hand? But she hasn't told me that she doesn't like what we do, well not that I know of. There had been once or twice that she would voice it out to me, but her body language had told me otherwise, and so naturally I took it as a sign of her just playing hard to get._

 _She had told me that she enjoyed being handled roughly and to be completely dominated. That she, herself had wanted me to do exactly that. I had done it to her when we dated. She seemed to really enjoy it whenever we had done it._

 _Though as of late, she's been a bit distant during sex. However, that could be because she wants to try a new approach to our sex life? If that's the case, then I'll do my best to play along!_

I gazed at her while she wrote something down in her journal. Her chocolate face was without my mark. I hadn't been with her since she declared her feelings for me.

 _Now why would she do that if she didn't want me near her? I remember that day she had wrote me that in class. The paper smelled of her and had erased any doubts that it might have been someone else. She wrote that she had begun to develop feelings for me and that we had to immediately stop seeing one another. But that had confused me._

 _Why would she declare her affection to me if she didn't want me? It made no sense!_

Thinking about what had transpired that day had angered me once again. When I looked back at her, she had her head facing toward the wall. Her sleeve covered arms were crossed and used as a pillow for her head. I could barely see that she was even breathing.

She seemed so calm, so at peace. I stood, pushed my chair in under the table and went to turn off the classroom lights. Everyone had left to go to the outer lab. Perfect timing. I shut the door quietly, as to not wake her and stalked toward her.

I moved her hair from her shoulder and breathed it in. it smelled of her rose perfume. She knew I adored roses. She wore it for me. Her shirt had slits all across her back, making it appear as though she had gotten attacked by a paper shredder or something. She wore it with her black jean leggings to give her a sort of rebel look.

I licked my lips, rubbing her back to wake her up.

I watched her as she slowly adjusted herself in her chair to do her strange cat-like stretching, that was strangely adorable. She yawned, it came out as a high pitched squeak, as if she were some kind of cartoon mouse. It was also adorable.

She turned to look at who had awoken her from her usual class slumber and saw that I did and tried to move away from me.

 _How sweet, she's giving me an easier position to get to her. I knew she didn't want to really drive me away. She cares about me far too much to do that._

I reached out to touch her neck. She flinched. That angered me. I grabbed her arm, pulling her up with me and shoved her backwards into the wall behind her. She winced in pain, gasping. I smiled, she liked it. Her eyes were wide with what I guessed anticipation.

"Edward, please." She whispered out.

 _Oh how cute. She's begging for it! Maybe I should let her have it._


End file.
